Legend has it that Merle Haggard wrote “Mama Tried” after a brief encounter with Mister at a laundromat in Enid, OK. Born of a timid Pentacostal mother and an alcoholic sometime-puppeteer father, Mister spent his youth in an uneventful wash of whatever pop culture he could experience through AM radio. He didn’t hit puberty until 19 at which point he went on an endless and usually unfulfilled quest for pleasure that would’ve made Epicurus blush. He wound up starring in Hey, Mister after his pimp lost him to Pete Sickman-Garner in a high-stakes game of Texas Hold ‘Em. When he’s not appearing in installments of this Harvey- and Ignatz-award-nominated comic, he can usually be found alone in a woodshed plotting the author’s demise.

Hideous Mutants


The mystery man among this merry band of pranksters, Hideous Mutants was named by Hey, Mister reader of yore Andre Busi. Like Yvonne Craig in the 60s TV series Batman, Hideous Mutants only shows up occasionally and when he feels like it. And, despite (or maybe because of) his relentless self-interest in the face of all the suffering around him, he almost never falls prey to the fates of his fellow cast members.

Aunt Mary


Adopted from a Transylvanian orphanage by a would-be stage mother, Aunt Mary toured the Appalachian junior pageant circuit while her mother slept with a parade of talent scouts, booking agents and even Mike Ovitz as she tried to win a place for her daughter in the business of show. Years later, her mother’s dream abandoned, Mary was working security for a young political operative named Karl Rove when, perhaps out of nostalgia, she answered a casting call for a new comic strip from an unknown author. The rest is herstory!

Young Tim


Young Tim’s father was an aspiring lip model when a tragic collagen accident left him with a chronic case of acute encephalopathy. Undaunted, he was forging a new life when he realized that, unburdened by the financial obligations of raising a son, he and his wife would have a much easier time pursuing their own pleasures. So, Tim was sent forth in the world to seek a fortune which, predictably, never came. He lived like a dog for many years until a chance encounter with the Hey, Mister crew at a rest stop in Truth or Consequences, NM, set him on a path to worldwide comic fame and almost daily humiliation.



An unlikely addition to the Hey, Mister cast, the Son of Man made his first appearance as an out-of-touch CEO who tabs a unassuming underling (Young Tim) to help chart a new path for Christianity in The Trouble with Jesus. Following that breakout hit, Jesus slotted very comfortably into his role in the forthcoming Top Shelf publication Come Hell or Highwater Pants (due out Summer 2014). “I play a guy in his early thirties who has achieved a lot but still feels sort of directionless. I live with my overprotective mother and a stepfather I can’t stand and I’m trying to figure out how I can live up to the expectations of my Father. It’s really a classic dilemma, and I’m thrilled to be part of the cast.”



The great trickster Satan made his first appearance in Hey, Mister way back in the early 90s but has recently taken his star turn with the forthcoming book Come Hell or Highwater Pants, due from Top Shelf Productions in May 2014. A natural fit with a down and out cast of angry misfits, Satan compares his role to the “change of pace” back now in vogue on most NFL teams. “I’m the guy who comes in and shakes things up. You might have expectations about who I’m going to be, but then I’ll surprise you.” Remember, Satan is incapable of lying, so any tricks he plays on you, dear reader, are your own damned fault.